That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
