Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
