i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
