He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I believe in your delicious
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
