just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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