He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize