You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
