what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
a search helicopter?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
