weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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