okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
