even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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