Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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