she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
