It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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