I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
