Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
