a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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