Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
