It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
