Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
