I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
