is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
