They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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