Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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