hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
