Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
