i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
