i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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