He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
