Fuck appropriateness.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
