Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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