I want to have your abortion
In America we eat man semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
