he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
