Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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