just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
