i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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