You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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