I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
