Slut skills are useful in every country.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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