Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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