Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
