The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
