CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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