im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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