Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize