The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
