You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
