So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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