I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
