VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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