Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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