I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize