"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
