sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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