you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
