i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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