i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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