I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
