I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
