Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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