And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
