dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
