Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
