I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
