is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They are going to name an STD after you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
